Katie Thurston is not here to waste time.
And she certainly isn’t here to serve as anyone else’s springboard to fame, fortune and/or an increase in one’s influence on social media.
The new Bachelorette made this as clear as she possibly could in sending one suitor home on Tuesday night — while issuing a clear warning to all remaining potential husbands on the show.
“I have so many options right now. I’m happy,” Katie told co-hosts Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe prior to her first group date. “I’m hoping to figure out who’s here for the right reasons.”
She said right reasons, you guys! DRINK!
From there, Christian, Garrett, Tre, Quartney, Mike P., James, Justin, Thomas, Connor B. and Karl were chosen for what Thurston and Juicy Scoop podcast host Heather McDonald dubbed the Greatest Lover of All Time competition.
Ready for some seductive and revealing awkwardness?
McDonald proceeded to ask the men questions about, well, sex.
Virgin Mike P. played it mysteriously in response to the sort of inappropriate queries about his go-to sex position and the last time he had intercourse.
“If Katie can’t accept that I’m a virgin, I think that I would end up going home,” Mike said in an on-camera interview.
Thurston, remember, made headlines after her introduction to Matt James on The Bachelor for bringing a vibrator and making it evident: She used it. A lot.
Heather then informed the fellas that they’d each be putting on a presentation explaining to Katie what makes them a great lover, prompting Connor B. to write a song and play guitar.
Thomas asserted that Katie wouldn’t need her vibrator anymore.
James, we’re sorry to say, put his junk in a box.
And our man Mike P. read a diary entry to Katie on the bed that mentioned “saving myself for you.”
“I would wait another 31 years to have sex if it was what proved to you that I would sacrifice everything for you to feel loved and secure,” Mike P. said to Katie.
Thurston, who almost had no choice in the matter, referred to Mike’s presentation as “so beautiful” and it ended up awarding him the title of Greatest Lover of All Time.
At the afterparty, Katie talked with Connor B. and they had a “redo” of their first kiss without him in a cat costume.
She also spoke to Karl about their past relationships and confessed to Thomas, who wound up with the Group Date Rose:
“You’ve been on my mind a lot.”
Greg, for his part, earned Katie’s first one-on-one date.
He and The Bachelorette enjoyed a day of camping, during which they played ring toss, fished and took in the New Mexico mountain views.
“I feel like we’re dating and I feel like I know him,” Katie said of this contestant.
She even shared with Greg that camping reminded her of her father, who passed away in 2012.
“I feel very comfortable with you and for me that’s why you’re here,” Katie told Greg.
Over a romantic dinner, Greg admitted that he had lost his dad to cancer — and the two kissed as fireworks went off in the backgrround and Greg was handed a rose.
For the second group date, Kaitlyn and Tayshia stormed the house to wake up the men early, ushering them out in whatever they were sleeping in.
John, Andrew S., Kyle, Josh, Aaron, Brendan, Hunter and Cody then changed into cowboy outfits for Katie’s Big Buckle Brawl, where they mud-wrestled for Thurston’s affections.
Katie pitted Aaron and Cody against each other because she noticed earlier that they seemed to have some kind of rivalry between them.
“It was intense,” Katie explained of their dirty brawl. “It felt personal.”
The victory over Cody not only won Aaron a leg up over his foe, but Katie’s Golden Cowboy Belt.
Thurston proceeded to ask Aaron at the follow-up afterparty about the animosity between him and Cody, which is when we learned that the suitors knew each other from back home in San Diego.
“We’re not really cool, we’re not friends,” Aaron admitted.
“But there are just some social media posts or just things he did that kind of rub me the wrong way. I know he really wants to become famous or get on the show for those reasons.
“The way he handles situations to me, I find disturbing.
“He handles things in a way that is just malicious.”
Cue up some concern from The Bachelorette.
“I’m trying to get engaged and I don’t want to end up with the wrong person,” she said in an on-camera interview, adding: “One of my biggest fears is someone being here who shouldn’t be.”
Oh, yes, readers, she was worried someone might be on the program for — you guessed it! — the wrong reasons.
Thurston confronted Cody with all Aaron said about him, and concluded their conversation unconvince that Cody really cared about falling in love.
“Ultimately, I don’t feel that we have trust and it’s so early to feel that way and that’s unfortunate,” Katie told Cody.
“And so there’s really no point to drag this on any longer and unfortunately, I think it’s best for you to go home tonight.”
Cody barely even argued, too.
Katie opened that evening’s cocktail party by telling everyone she sent Cody packing.
“I learned that his intentions weren’t to be here for me,” she said, adding to the group:
“I do appreciate the honesty I have been given so far and if there’s anything else I need to know, please know that I am a safe space and deserve to know what’s going on in the house.”
She later issued a warning to the guys as well.
“Tonight, a bomb was dropped on me about multiple people still here for the wrong f—–g reasons,” she said to the men.
“And I don’t know how clear I can be about my intentions and my time, but if you are not here for me, if you are not here for an engagement, then get the f–k out.
“I don’t know who is here for the wrong reasons, but from what I’ve been told, there are multiple people I should be looking out for. For some of you, this might be a platform, but I’m not here to waste my time.
“Does anyone want to say anything?”
No one uttered a peep, except for Karl.
“I heard some stuff circulating around,” he said to his fellow suitors.
“And you know, like, I’ll approach the people directly, I’ll approach this person directly. I don’t think it’s my place to throw this out.
“I’m telling you right now that listen, listen, I want to give the person basically a chance to come forward and fess up.”
Again, no one fessed up, as Aaron trashed Karl’s move as “the dumbest thing you could’ve possibly done.”
Katie, meanwhile, simply cried in the other room… and didn’t yet hand out the roses.
Where might things go from here?
Visit our section of The Bachelorette spoilers to find out!